Eris on an Attic plate, ca. 575-525 BC

In class today, I mention that the golden apple thrown among the goddesses at the wedding of Peleus and Thetis was inscribed with a single word: kallistei (????????) or “for the fairest”. Kalos represents a very complex idea in Greek thought, but one that we might render as “sexy nobility”. (or maybe “noble sexiness”… “noblexiness”?) Over lunch I happened to be re-reading what is considered by most to be the greatest piece of short-form sports writing since Pindar, Mark Kram’s account of the third bout between Ali and Joe Frazier, the a.k.a the Thrilla in Manila. In light of today’s class, this paragraph had special force:

“Ali’s version of death began about 10:45 a.m. on Oct. 1 in Manila. Up to then his attitude had been almost frivolous. He would simply not accept Joe Frazier as a man or as a fighter, despite the bitter lesson Frazier had given him in their first savage meeting. Esthetics govern all of Ali’s actions and conclusions; the way a man looks, the way he moves is what interests Ali. By Ali’s standards, Frazier was not pretty as a man and without semblance of style as a fighter. Frazier was an affront to beauty, to Ali’s own beauty as well as to his precious concept of how a good fighter should move. Ali did not hate Frazier, but he viewed him with the contempt of a man who cannot bear anything short of physical and professional perfection.”

Ali, who turns 70 today, knew the kalos.

“]

Muhammad Ali versus Sonny Liston [1965. Photographer: Donald L. Robinson

In a sketch from a few weeks back, Saturday Night Live imagined the Greek gods trying to devise a plan to overcome the Greek economic crisis. May be worth a few chuckles…

Does this tune sounds familiar? (video is a little lewd but mostly SWF)

“To Anacreon in Heaven” was the official song of the Anacreontic Society, a gentlemanly club of amateur musicians in 18th-century London.

Anacreon, a Greek lyric poet of the 6th century BCE whom Peisistratus brought to Athens with great fanfare, was famous for his poems on love and intoxication. His poetry spawned a slew of imitators in antiquity, who wrote in the voice of Anacreon or claimed they were inspired by his example. After they were rediscovered and published in 1554, these poem, or Anacreontea, inspired numerous imitators from the 16th through 19th century. And among these homages is “To Anacreon in Heaven.”

Here are the saucy lyrics:

To Anacreon in Heav’n, where he sat in full glee,
A few Sons of Harmony sent a petition;
That he their Inspirer and Patron wou’d be;
When this answer arrived from the Jolly Old Grecian;
“Voice, Fiddle, and Flute,
No longer be mute,
I’ll lend you my name and inspire you to boot,
And besides I’ll instruct you like me, to intwine,
The Myrtle of Venus with Bacchus’s Vine.”

The news through Olympus immediately flew;
When Old Thunder pretended to give himself airs.
If these Mortals are suffered their scheme to pursue,
The Devil, a Goddess, will stay above stairs.
“Hark”, Already they cry,
“In transports of joy,
Away to the Sons of Anacreon we’ll fly.
And besides I’ll instruct you like me, to intwine,
The Myrtle of Venus with Bacchus’s Vine.”

“The Yellow-Haired God and his nine lusty Maids,
From Helion’s banks will incontinent flee,
Idalia will boast but of tenantless Shades,
And the bi-forked hill a mere desert will be.
My Thunder no fear on’t,
Shall soon do it’s errand,
And damme I’ll swing the Ringleaders I warrant,
I’ll trim the young dogs, for thus daring to twine,
The Myrtle of Venus with Bacchus’s Vine.”

Apollo rose up and said, “Pry’thee ne’er quarrel,
Good sing of the Gods with my Vot’ries below:
Your Thunder is useless”–then showing his laurel,
Cry’d “Sic evitable fulmen’ you know!
Then over each head
My laurels I’ll spread
So my sons from your Crackers no mischief shall dread,
While snug in their clubroom, they jovially twine,
The Myrtle of Venus with Bacchus’s Vine.”

Next Momus got up with his risible Phiz
And swore with Apollo he’d cheerfully join-
“The full tide of Harmony still shall be his,
But the Song, and the Catch, and the Laugh, shall be mine.
Then Jove be not jealous
Of these honest fellows,”
Cry’d Jove, “We relent since the truth you now tell us;
And swear by Old Styx, that they long shall intwine,
The Myrtle of Venus with Bacchus’s Vine.”

Ye Sons of Anacreon then join hand in hand;
Preserve Unanimity, Friendship, and Love!
‘Tis yours to support what’s so happily plann’d;
You’ve the sanction of Gods, and the Fiat of Jove.
While thus we agree,
Our toast let it be:
“May our Club flourish Happy, United, and Free!
And long may the Sons of Anacreon intwine,
The Myrtle of Venus with Bacchus’s Vine.”

Lyrics: Ralph Tomlinson
Music: John Stafford Smith

This week in The Guardian, Tariq Ali muses on the wisdom of Hesiod, which ranges from the value of an honest day’s work to the importance of a clean pair of underwear:

As Greek economic problems intensify, it’s worth remembering the first economist, Hesiod, a poet whose Works and Days was written against the backdrop of agrarian crisis…

[Read more...]

From The Economist comes a reminder of how different our world is from that of Antiquity (or even the 18th century).

SOME people recite history from above, recording the grand deeds of great men [ed. Herodotus would agree!]. Others tell history from below, arguing that one person’s life is just as much a part of mankind’s story as another’s [ed. Hmm... that sound like Herodotus, too!]. If people do make history, as this democratic view suggests, then two people make twice as much history as one. Since there are almost 7 billion people alive today, it follows that they are making seven times as much history as the 1 billion alive in 1811. The chart below shows a population-weighted history of the past two millennia. By this reckoning, over 28% of all the history made since the birth of Christ was made in the 20th century. Measured in years lived, the present century, which is only ten years old, is already “longer” than the whole of the 17th century. This century has made an even bigger contribution to economic history. Over 23% of all the goods and services made since 1AD were produced from 2001 to 2010, according to an updated version of Angus Maddison’s figures.

The Wall Street Journal relays the remarkable story of a 34-year-old air conditioner technician who is angling to win an unprecedented 14 “Spartan Races” in a single year. Not impressed? What are Spartan Races you say?

Details of each Spartan Race course are kept secret so competitors can’t specifically train for them.

Organizers force racers to do just about anything, including crawl through muddy troughs covered in barbed wire, jump through flames, solve puzzles, chop wood, carry water and learn Greek. It also helps to be very fast. The Death Race, the longest of the Spartan races, usually covers 45 miles. It lasts at least 24 hours, but has gone on for as long as 72. (Participants won’t know exactly how long until it’s over; they are given instructions during the race.)

The Spartan Race website has videos and more information. And look there’s a Spartan Sprint coming to Pennsylvania on September 10th. It’s only 3 miles! What would Leonidas do?

Savage Chickens takes on an Empedoclean Periodic Table of Elements:

According to new evidence from a geomorphological and geoarcheological study conducted by Professor Andreas Vött of Johannes Gutenberg-Universität Mainz, the shrine at Olympia was destroyed by a tsunami, not an earthquake in 551 CE as previously thought. Let’s go to the press release!

west of the central Kladeos River valley and the range of hills which separate Olympia from the wider coastal area; photo: Andreas Vött

Olympia, site of the famous Temple of Zeus and original venue of the Olympic Games in ancient Greece, was presumably destroyed by repeated tsunamis that travelled considerable distances inland, and not by earthquake and river floods as has been assumed to date. Evidence in support of this new theory on the virtual disappearance of the ancient cult site on the Peloponnesian peninsula comes from Professor Dr Andreas Vött of the Institute of Geography of Johannes Gutenberg University Mainz, Germany. Vött investigated the site as part of a project in which he and his team are studying the paleotsunamis that occurred along the coastlines of the eastern Mediterranean over the last 11,000 years. According to his account, the geomorphological and sedimentological findings in the area document that Olympia and its environs were destroyed by tsunami impact. The site of Olympia, rediscovered only some 250 years ago, was buried under a massive layer of sand and other deposits that is up to 8 meters deep. [More...]

Via the Daily Mail, we find Boris Johnson–Conservative mayor of London, gadfly, and historian–offering his list of the 10 greatest ancient Greeks: Homer to Plato: Boris Johnson on the ten greatest ancient Greeks.

Boris Johnson contemplates an earlier mayor...

I would decry our obsession with “Top” lists, prone as they are to elide complex questions of worth. But nah, I love’em!  They do make great conversation pieces. (Simonides over Euripides? No Demosthenes? ?????!) And of course a lover of antiquity has to admit that the interest in listing and ranking is by no means a modern development. Perhaps the first of the “top” lists was the Canon of authors that scholars during the Hellenistic period deemed worthy of study and commentary. Today we have entire websites devoted to nothing but lists, they had the Nine Lyric Poets.

A number of interesting articles have come over my transom in the last few days. Enjoy!

• “Do as the Romans did, then overdo it again”: inspired by the release of Centurion (has anyone seen it?), the Boston Globe looks at some classic Roman films and other projects on the horizon (CORIOLANUS directed by Ralph Fiennes sounds promising).
• “Does Your Language Shape How You Think?”: this feature in the New York Times provides an accessible and balanced look at recent research on how different languages shape our perception of our lives. You’ll learn why a German is more likely to describe a bridge as graceful and elegant while a Spanish-speaker will describe it as strong and powerful (hint: grammatical gender), and encounter languages like Guugu Yimithirr, which lacks words for front, back, left and right and gives all directions using the cardinal points on the compass. Fascinating stuff and useful for anyone taking Latin or Greek–or any other language–this semester.
• And, oh yeah, Odysseus’ palace was discovered on Ithaka: Greeks ‘discover Odysseus’ palace in Ithaca, proving Homer’s hero was real’ | Telegraph. Gold stars to all who can identify the questionable assumptions and logical leaps in this article, or head over to Rogueclassicism for the untold backstory.

Have a wonderful start to the semester!